254 Days

 

254 days of the most memorable moments of my life. Days of laughter,  learning, talking, and tears. 

 

I don't know how to put into words what this trip has done for me, how it has changed me, and what it means to me. All I know is that it was a small part of the Lords plan for my life and I am so thankful for it. Even when it got hard and I momentarily wanted to go home I was and am still thankful for it. The hard parts were made worth it because of the good parts. The good parts hold greater worth than gold to me and I wouldn't trade them for the world. 

 

I've met some incredible people on this trip. Some people I will be forever bonded with in ways other people can't understand no matter how hard they try. I've seen some of my teammates at their absolute worst and their best. We know each other and love each other regardless of our flaws. Outside of my team and squad I have met people that The Lord placed in my path for reasons I may never fully know or understand. 

      In Nicaragua it was a man named Felix who was slowly dying from a kidney disease. He had been praying for someone to come and we showed up. In the last week we were there we redid his house, bought them mattresses, got him medicine for his kidney disease, and as a result had a connection with him that was so unique. Felix was so thankful & joyful always. Once we left he was able to continue to further the lords kingdom by descipling  people in the community. Felix passed away in February and although that was heartbreaking news to receive its amazing to know that he is pain free and dancing with The Lord. I won't EVER forget that man. 

 

     In the Philippines I lived with 20 former street boys (my little Filipino brothers) and the best ministry contact ever / second mom to all of us Sharon. Words can't describe the impact this special place had on my life. From visiting women in prison to singing with the boys around the kitchen table this place was so different. Such a God centered, obedient, loving, raw, real, grace filled, and redemptive place. A piece of my heart is still in the Philippines with the boys, the people we did outreach too and the country itself. I know I will return there eventually because a huge part of my heart is there. 

     In Africa it wasn't actually any specific person I met but it was a time of personal spiritual growth that was much needed. I learned so much about the importance of a good attitude, memorizing scripture, and letting God control things. I'm so thankful for the time in Africa and although at times I didn't want it, I knew I needed it. 

 

These are only a few things that happened over the past 9 months. The 254 days were filled with first time experiences, crazy adventures, funny moments, sad moments, dancing moments, and memories to literally last me a lifetime. 

 

Now for the absolute hardest part of this whole trip. Going home. How in the world is that suppose to happen? Home seems like a dream that has been talked about for months but never seems to get any closer. Yet here I am knowing full well that in 13 days I will be sleeping in my bed, petting my dog, wearing clean clothes, eating food that will make my tastebuds dance, and spending time with my family for the first time in 9 months. 

 

Going back to the states became a scary reality yesterday when we went into a grocery store in Zambia. It had a large selection of goods to choose from compared to places in Malawi and I found myself overwhelmed with sensory overload. My eyes were darting all over the place trying to see what they had. Thinking about it now makes me wonder how I will go home… 

 

Despite the culture shock of America how will I live? I am different from when I left, I have changed a little, I hold value to different things in my life than I did before. Regardless of all those things I know I can do it. If I have learned anything it's that The Lord is my rock and he won't let me go through anything "too big to handle". He will be there right by my side when I undoubtedly cry out to him out off exhaustion and overwhelming frustration with the society I live in. He will be there when I thank him for that same society because of how blessed I am to have grown up in it, and when I thank him for the wonderful family I in no way deserve. He will be there for it all like he always is. Although at times it scares me to realize I am heading back to what should be comfortable but is really the most uncomfortable thing I have experienced in 9 months I know he will be right there by my side the whole time. Will it be easy? Oh no, it will be way harder than being in my tent in Africa with the squad that knows me potentially better than I know myself. However, I can't run from it, I can't prevent it, avoid it, or change it… But I don't need to because growth comes when I am uncomfortable and depend on The Lord. 

 

So… With that being said… In the great words of Phantom Planet 

 

California here we come right back where we started from… CALIFORNIAAAA!!!!… CALIFORNIAAAA!!!!…HERE WE COOOOMMMEEE!!!!!!